Benny Hoh Blog

As I waited alone for the 3 dozen donuts I ordered at Krispy Kreame to bring into work this morning the woman waiting on me asked me it my order was for "here or to go" After some unknown duration of time I heard the words "Sir... Sir.. Sir.." And my day dream of 3 dozen donuts for here was dashed and I was slammed back into reality like a watermelon hitting a swimming pool. Oh well, it was the first time in a long time that someone called me sir without then saying, "you are making a scene."

In other food related news: Scientists are developing Super Broccoli! Much to my dismay there are no capes or superpowers involved. Not to worry we can still follow the adventures of one of my favorites: Super pickle.

Recently (May 10th) I posted about the irony of certain air purifiers causing smog. Well some PR hack, not unlike myself, posted a comment on this highly respectable blog to notify me about the article I linked to being corrected and that Ionic air purifiers do not cause harmful amounts of smog.

Soooo the irony today is ... I sometimes do what this guy did and it makes me sad. However, I do like to think I try to contact a bit more industry based blogs. Anywho it was neat to be contacted not by a spammer.

In today's Ironic news: A man was arrested for stealing an artificial vagina. He will now likely become one in prison.

In I miss home news: Boy oh boy do I see this catching on at the Columbia County Fair this year.

The King of Nepal is going to give up his power to the parliment. But will he give up his funk?


In other news: Science suggest it isn't all that hard to get with the ladies. (Stupid science)

Have you ever wondered if you are missing something when you look at it. What if what we see could easily be changed like this This.

Does anybody know how to sew? Because I have underwear! How to make a wallet out of batman underwear:

Today's post is brought to you by the Chrissy B Train. He has been calling attention to the fact that there are no where near enough instrumentals these days. Turn up the speakers folks and give a listen.... I think he might be on to something.


In Ironic news: Air purifier causes smog. (Stupid LA)

In other news... Why are we always so concerned about curing cancer in mice. Won't someone think of the humans.

Perhaps my favorite bumper stickers reads "I Love Animals Because They Taste Good" A close second is "I Miss Nixon"

However recently my meat eating ways have been called into question. I do live in California. Anyway I do not intend on giving up on meat, the man upstairs gave me eye teeth and certain enzymes for a reason, but I might consider cutting back on the beef after this educational clip.

Were any of you aware of this yummy goodness.

Me neither. Come on folks.. Throw me a bone every now and again.

More can be found here

And does anybody know if St. Petersburg FL still holds the record for largest sand castle ever?

We have sold most of our enemies arms before they were our enemies. Hence at the end of the day we are usually fighting ourselves. So the next time we are selling arms to a fish nation lets sell them some of these that way when we go to war with them with will be a soft and cuddly occasion.

If you don't recall idea number one it was to somehow get all the armies to march around in women's underwear. That way they would be too damned happy to shoot anybody.

When invited to a some sort of social even I often inquire as to whether or not I have to wear pants in the hope that some day the response will be no. Well my readership Friday is my and all of ours day. Friday is International No Pants Day. So please stand with me and drop trow.

In Seasame Street news: V for Vandetta has nothing on C is for Cookie (Hilarious)

Well Duh. They finally did it. In what is so simple its brilliant a removable beer belly has been invents so that one can stealthly sneak beer into any event. Learn more on CNN.

As long as we are solving problems that should seem obvious. I will dare take on the girl speak to english debate. After women have often told me that I should know what they mean.

Here are some suggested (not mine.. I don't want to get in trouble) translations:

She says                               English
---------                              -------
We need                                I want
It's your decision                     The correct decision should be
                                        obvious by now
Do what you want                       You'll pay for this later
We need to talk                        I need to complain
Sure...go ahead                        I don't want you to.
I'm not upset                          Of course I'm upset, you moron.
You're...so manly                      You need a shave and you sweat
                                        a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight.    Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional!  And I'm not        I have PMS.
 overreacting!
Be romantic, turn out the lights.      I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient.       I want a new house.
I want new curtains                    and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper...
Hang the picture there                 No, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise                        I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me?                        I'm going to ask for something
                                        expensive.
How much do you love me?               I did something today you're
                                        really not going to like...
I'll be ready in a minute.             Kick off your shoes and find a
                                        good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat?                        Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate.      Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!?              [Too late, your dead.]
Yes                                    No
No                                     No
Maybe                                  No
I'm sorry.                             You'll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe?               It's easy to fix, so you'd
                                        better get get used to it.
I'm not yelling!                       Yes I am yelling because I
                                        think this is important.

In answer to the question "What's wrong?"

The same old thing.                    Nothing.
Nothing.                               Everything.
Everything.                            My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really.                       It's just that you're such a jerk.
I don't want to talk about it.         Go away, I'm still building up
                                        evidence against you.