Friday, July 29, 2005
Cali Win's Today's East vs. West
In what should I get Grandma for Christmas news: You have the opportunity to purchase an overnight denture/false teeth motel.
In funny t-shirt news:
Thursday, July 28, 2005
Big Difference: Cow Farts
In regard to a recent comment regarding my boycott of Busch Gardens, I will be withdrawing my protest until I make enough money that I do not need to drink Budweiser or other Busch products.
Here comes the science.... I think this dude just wanted to party
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
People I Know
This individual is also known to have pooped in several other unique places included public building such as schools and use interesting devices for wiping.
Why am I friends with this guy? I may not agree with his methods or even the etirity of his cause but I respect his fight for the freedom of poop. And although I don't have a recording to post I know he was the inpiration for the the song "Poopy Surprise."
Sunday, July 24, 2005
(Ladies feel free to referse roles as you see fit)
Thursday, July 21, 2005
More Cereal Info
Let me tell you a little about Lucky Charms and the religious conflict there in. All the stuff in the cereal that is good for you/the oat type crunchy stuff is in the shape of crosses and Jesus Fishes... Just like Christianity... Its all about suffering for some sort of greater good etc... However ass (he he he I wrote ass by accident) we all know mixed in the oat type cereal bits are marshmallows in the shape of horseshoes and clovers a.k.a pagan symbols which may taste good but are actually bad for you. Let that information marinate in the ol noggin for a bit.
Tune in next time to see if there are other ways to find religion in your breakfast.
In swimming and what pisses me off about the Man News: Some 8 year old kid who happens to be disabled but still a super swimmer was banned at Busch Gardens. Screw them... I am banning Busch Garden. Beware of the power of Benny Hoh.
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
How do I know this? Well ordinarily I would bridge the conversation with friends, however I am working diligently to avoid the "Your a freak" comments directed at me... So I turned to pop culture and while enjoying the warm glow of my television, the Family Guy accused Captain Crunch of cutting the roofs of people's mouths.
And there you have it.
In cartoons imitate life or life imitates cartoons news: Squirrels are starting fires in Canada.
Tuesday, July 19, 2005
Watch Out For That Bus
Flashing forward, today marks my 1 year anniverserary at Voce Communications. Since graduating college, I have been a travel agent, teacher, mortgage guy, trolly driver, aquatic director, professionally unemployed 3 times, a PR dude for Weber Shandwick, and a PR dude for Voce. Only as an Aquatic Director did I last exactly 1 year before some dude tried to stab me. That being said... I am a little concerned about getting to work tomorrow.
I'll be watching for that damn bus.
Going Interactive Baby!
I am going to start responding to some of the more intelligent and or asinine comments made to this blog. Most recently a comment was made to my "Sad Realization" post. The post was curious as to the origin of Rock a Bye Baby.
Well allow me to digress:
Origins of words to "Rock a bye baby" in English history...at least dating back to the 1700's
The story of the Nursery Rhyme relates to a family who lived in a tree house which was formed within a massive Yew tree. The Yew Tree concerned was believed to be nearly 2000 years old. The family were charcoal burners who lived in Shining Cliff Woods, Ambergate, Derbyshire in the 1700's. The ancient occupation of Charcoal Burning would be conducted by people who actually lived in the woods. Just like like this family. Their names were Kate and Luke Kenyon and they lived in what was locally called the 'Betty Kenny Tree' - a colloquialism for Kate Kenyon. The Kenyons had 8 children and a tree bough was hollowed out to act as a cradle for their children! Shining Cliff Woods was owned at the time by the Hurt family. The Kenyons were favored by the Hurts who commissioned the artist James Ward of the
Rock a bye baby song
AKA Hush a bye baby
Rock a bye baby on the tree top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock,
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all.
Monday, July 18, 2005
The Effortless Pleasure
In other vice news: This past weekend, between trips to hospital and pulled pork, I got to drink for boobs.
Friday, July 15, 2005
No More Cramps
This post is about Bananas and the wonderful things they can do and the wonderful things you can do with them. Of note this has nothing to do with the previously mentioned Banana Hammock, banana Hammock, banana Hammock. This is about bananas Gone wild and disturbing images from the 1940's. I will let the link speak for itself.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Do You Know What Is Fun
However I don't recommend saying it three times in front of a mirror. Who knows what might come out after saying banana hammock.
Thursday, July 07, 2005
I Haven't Done This Yet
In other news, I am pretty sure I know this guy.... Big D?
Tuesday, July 05, 2005
WELL. Allow me to retort. I have no intention of giving up my idiotic behavior, after all it is innate. That said, I also want to limit the appearance sad pathetic Hohmann. There is an old nursery rhyme from the sea that is about a Farmer and the Dell. In this story the farmer takes the wife, the wife takes the kid, the kid takes the dog, the dog takes the cat, the cat takes the mouse and the mouse takes the cheese. The poor cheese has got nothing! I can assure you I am not on the bottom of the messed up food chain.
I EAT CHEESE BEOTCHES