Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Disregard If You Are Veggie
Many non-veggie types often ask how people can eat things like monkey brains, stomach lining etc... Butt how many of them stopped to think that most of the delicious meat products we consume are from butts and loins. Anywho, I am always up for a nice piece of ass.
In what is Santa to do news: 40 reindeer sadly died in a train accident.
In desperate times for McDonalds News: Ronald steals from Wendys
Today's Movie Quote:
"What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary."
In what is Santa to do news: 40 reindeer sadly died in a train accident.
In desperate times for McDonalds News: Ronald steals from Wendys
Today's Movie Quote:
"What is it you want, Mary? What do you want? You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey. That's a pretty good idea. I'll give you the moon, Mary."
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
Butt Wipe
When asked how he wiped, a person I know called out, "From the back baby!" The question arrose do to an discussion as to how one wipes. Do they wipe towards one's front or take advantage of the natural ass crack and pull to the back. The arguement for the pull to the front was that the pull to the back might lead to some unessecary smearing. The argument against it was wiping towards the front would certainly be unsanitary for women folk and that for the fellas one probably shouldn't risk pushing pooh towards the boys. In the end it was determined that if you are doing things properly there should be smearing going on at all. Anywho... I say from the back baby!
In the news: Mastodons and Mammoths are falling out of the sky
Trivia answers:
Friday's Quote: "There's no way, no way that you came from my loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!"
Monday's Quote: "What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."
Today's Movie Quote: "Oh, Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind... and that's what's been changing. That's why I'm glad I'm here, maybe I can do something about it."
In the news: Mastodons and Mammoths are falling out of the sky
Trivia answers:
Friday's Quote: "There's no way, no way that you came from my loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!"
Monday's Quote: "What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."
Today's Movie Quote: "Oh, Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind... and that's what's been changing. That's why I'm glad I'm here, maybe I can do something about it."
Monday, November 28, 2005
I'm Back Baby
To all those other batchelor types, I think it is important that we examine the wingperson. The wingman is fairly understood. It is buddy who will throw himself infront of a moving truck in a effort to get you some. However, as valiant as this may be it is rare that throwing oneself infront of a moving truck will get anybody anything other than a trip to the hospital. The wingwoman on the other hand has significant pros, providing she is legit. One must ensure that she in no way will be put off that your attention will be focused on other lady, regardless if you and the wingwoman are just friends. To that end if/when a wingwoman has your interest, shallow or nobel in mind, who better to assist with a lady that someone who knows what a lady is looking for?
Hooray Wingwomen.
Today's Movie Quote: "What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."
Hooray Wingwomen.
Today's Movie Quote: "What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way."
Monday, November 21, 2005
Keep On Checking
Hey All. The Benny Hoh Train is taking this week off from blogging. However, take this opportunity to go through the archived posts if you have not been a long time reader. In addition, per the comment and link last year, help me find out how I am in violation of the British disabilities descrimination act.
Cheers,
Benny Hoh
Cheers,
Benny Hoh
Friday, November 18, 2005
Shout Out
Hey All... I just wanted to give a quick shout out to the proprietors of the Elizabeth Street Brewery for throwing a very kind Hooray Ben.
In best excuses ever news: "Man, I'm not going to lie to you -- I'm drunk."
Trivia Answers:
Tuesday's Quote: "Benjamin, I want you to know that I'm available to you, and if you won't sleep with me this time -"
Wednesday's Quote: "Mr. Brown? That sounds too much like Mr. Shit."
Thursdays Quote: "Bring me four fried chickens and a coke."
Today's Quote: "There's no way, no way that you came from my loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!"
In best excuses ever news: "Man, I'm not going to lie to you -- I'm drunk."
Trivia Answers:
Tuesday's Quote: "Benjamin, I want you to know that I'm available to you, and if you won't sleep with me this time -"
Wednesday's Quote: "Mr. Brown? That sounds too much like Mr. Shit."
Thursdays Quote: "Bring me four fried chickens and a coke."
Today's Quote: "There's no way, no way that you came from my loins. Soon as I get home, first thing I'm gonna do is punch yo mamma in da mouth!"
Thursday, November 17, 2005
Further Proof That Everybody Looks At Porn
Sociology professor Peter Webb of the University of Brimingham, said, "Femisnist movements prefer focusing now on questions like gender equality at work, or on pornography. This kind of nudity, doesn't shock anymore," he said.
Ok so this was in reference to recent outrage over a 36 year old tradition of The Sun's (British Tabloid) topless page 3 girl. (Don't worry the link is safe for work) However, if feminest want to look at naked people I am all for it.
Today's Movie Quote: "Bring me four fried chickens and a coke."
Ok so this was in reference to recent outrage over a 36 year old tradition of The Sun's (British Tabloid) topless page 3 girl. (Don't worry the link is safe for work) However, if feminest want to look at naked people I am all for it.
Today's Movie Quote: "Bring me four fried chickens and a coke."
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Turkey Day PSA
With Thanksgiving fast approaching I wanted to let you all know some of the do's and don'ts regarding my favorite means of cooking a bird. The deepfried method of course.
Things not to do when stealing a golfcart
In I wonder if Newton will still be the safest city in America news
Today's Movie Quote: "Mr. Brown? That sounds too much like Mr. Shit."
Things not to do when stealing a golfcart
In I wonder if Newton will still be the safest city in America news
Today's Movie Quote: "Mr. Brown? That sounds too much like Mr. Shit."
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Its Not So Bad Being Irish
I don't care what you say about the Irish. They have given us all reason to look forward to growing old. Now all I have to do is find some strumpet over there to help me gain citzen ship so that I may take advantage of thier stellar healthcare.
Only in Albany NY News
Trivia Answers:
Friday's Quote: "This is sort of an unusual question, but do you have any marijuana I might be able to buy from you? Our car exploded last night and I'm practically all out of my own."
Monday's Quote: "Ya smoke this shit so to escape from reality? Me, I don't need this shit. I am reality. There's the way it ought to be, and there's the way it is."
Today's Movie Quote: "Benjamin, I want you to know that I'm available to you, and if you won't sleep with me this time -"
Only in Albany NY News
Trivia Answers:
Friday's Quote: "This is sort of an unusual question, but do you have any marijuana I might be able to buy from you? Our car exploded last night and I'm practically all out of my own."
Monday's Quote: "Ya smoke this shit so to escape from reality? Me, I don't need this shit. I am reality. There's the way it ought to be, and there's the way it is."
Today's Movie Quote: "Benjamin, I want you to know that I'm available to you, and if you won't sleep with me this time -"
Monday, November 14, 2005
Curse Of The Condom
Bad Time to have a condom #1.
When you are exiting the drug store with condoms in hand and you run into the woman you were going to meet in 15 minutes.
Bad Time to have a condom #2.
It is condom handout day on campus and all 45 condoms fall out of your pocket in the middle of class causing your philosophy professor to ask what kind of night you have planned.
Today's Movie Quote:
"Ya smoke this shit so to escape from reality? Me, I don't need this shit. I am reality. There's the way it ought to be, and there's the way it is."
When you are exiting the drug store with condoms in hand and you run into the woman you were going to meet in 15 minutes.
Bad Time to have a condom #2.
It is condom handout day on campus and all 45 condoms fall out of your pocket in the middle of class causing your philosophy professor to ask what kind of night you have planned.
Today's Movie Quote:
"Ya smoke this shit so to escape from reality? Me, I don't need this shit. I am reality. There's the way it ought to be, and there's the way it is."
Friday, November 11, 2005
Clever?
Every now and again we all have stinky burps. I could go on about the fabled mouth fart but that is an extraordinary occurrence and most people can't relate. What I speak of is when one is bealchy. If you are out and can't help but be burping you may need a discrete manner in doing so. (For those of you who say, "just hold it in".... the purpose of this post is to allow the best of both worlds. Comfort and non-offensiveness) One such method of cover a burp is to let it out as you are taking a sip of beer.
Trivia Answers:
Tuesday's Quote: "Oh, lookee here, the great jerk off case of 1953."
Wednesday's Quote: "Remember, you come of a proud race. Why, you're a... a pachydoim, and pachydoims don't cry."
Thursday's Quote: "What's dude"? Is that like "dude ranch?""Dude means nice guy. Dude means a regular sort of person."
Today's Quote: "This is sort of an unusual question, but do you have any marijuana I might be able to buy from you? Our car exploded last night and I'm practically all out of my own."
Trivia Answers:
Tuesday's Quote: "Oh, lookee here, the great jerk off case of 1953."
Wednesday's Quote: "Remember, you come of a proud race. Why, you're a... a pachydoim, and pachydoims don't cry."
Thursday's Quote: "What's dude"? Is that like "dude ranch?""Dude means nice guy. Dude means a regular sort of person."
Today's Quote: "This is sort of an unusual question, but do you have any marijuana I might be able to buy from you? Our car exploded last night and I'm practically all out of my own."
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Variety
Variety is the spice of life folks. That being said, mix it up. Brush your teach from side to side rather than up and down, See how far you can walk with your eyes closed, pick your nose instead of scratching your ass. Gosh darn it, keep things entertaining.
In sports news: If some guy who hasn't played since 8th grade can make the Jets I think I might have a chance at making the 49er's squad.
Today's Movie Quote:What's "dude"? Is that like "dude ranch?"
"Dude means nice guy. Dude means a regular sort of person."
In sports news: If some guy who hasn't played since 8th grade can make the Jets I think I might have a chance at making the 49er's squad.
Today's Movie Quote:What's "dude"? Is that like "dude ranch?"
"Dude means nice guy. Dude means a regular sort of person."
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
McDonalds Ads
Despite my singledom, I am not completely aware of all the in's out's and whathaveyou's regarding dating. However, recent McDonald's Ads show the fast food chain as a date location. I may be lacking in pop culture know how but I can't believe that McDonald's is a popular date location. In 'N Out Burger on the other hand would be gold.
Today's Movie Quote: "Remember, you come of a proud race. Why, you're a... a pachydoim, and pachydoims don't cry."
Today's Movie Quote: "Remember, you come of a proud race. Why, you're a... a pachydoim, and pachydoims don't cry."
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Go Gators
Many of you are aware of my affinity for the Florida Gators, and most of you have chastised me for my fandome. I do believe I can now change most of your minds. (Sorry female readership but at best I am just a man.
In other news check out Antonio Hicks' comment from November 3rd. I'm practically famous. Seriously though its cool to see that the blog is spreading. Be sure to check out his poster site.
Trivia Results:
Friday's Quote: "He is not human, he is a piece of iron."
Monday's Quote: "To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf."
Today's Quote: "Oh, lookee here, the great jerk off case of 1953."
Of note: Two Thursdays ago's quote was indeed from "The Dream Team" however no prize will be given out because the correct guess was not made in the allotted time. That and I question whether or not the answer was looked up.
In other news check out Antonio Hicks' comment from November 3rd. I'm practically famous. Seriously though its cool to see that the blog is spreading. Be sure to check out his poster site.
Trivia Results:
Friday's Quote: "He is not human, he is a piece of iron."
Monday's Quote: "To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf."
Today's Quote: "Oh, lookee here, the great jerk off case of 1953."
Of note: Two Thursdays ago's quote was indeed from "The Dream Team" however no prize will be given out because the correct guess was not made in the allotted time. That and I question whether or not the answer was looked up.
Monday, November 07, 2005
The Cola Wars Are Over
It took countless tragedies such as changing flavors and putting an II next to the logo to turning a caramel flovored drink clear but when was the last time you saw a decent Pepsi or Coke commercial? Let alone one that has Coke or Pepsi poking fun at the other.
Alas the cola wars are over.
Today's Movie Quote: "To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf."
Alas the cola wars are over.
Today's Movie Quote: "To protect the sheep you gotta catch the wolf, and it takes a wolf to catch a wolf."
Friday, November 04, 2005
Strange Drinking Problem
Britons' be ware of you booze habits or the economy will soar. In the U.S. when we get drunk we fight peopel and drive our cars wrecklously, but in Great Britain the big concern is drunk shopping via the phone. I suppose it is kind of like normal drunk calling but you at least get something out of it. Hence I fail to see the problem.
In other news: Nobody has ever dubbed me a hero for being in the women's room.
Trivia Answers:
Tuesday's Quote: "Of course I don't have my underwear. I'm definately not wearing my underwear."
Wednesday's Quote: "We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured the next logical step was to have us a critter."
Thursday's Quote: No right answer has been guesed so I shant be revealing this one just yet. (Remember there will be a prize. Yaaay)
Today's Movie Quote: "He is not human, he is a piece of iron."
In other news: Nobody has ever dubbed me a hero for being in the women's room.
Trivia Answers:
Tuesday's Quote: "Of course I don't have my underwear. I'm definately not wearing my underwear."
Wednesday's Quote: "We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured the next logical step was to have us a critter."
Thursday's Quote: No right answer has been guesed so I shant be revealing this one just yet. (Remember there will be a prize. Yaaay)
Today's Movie Quote: "He is not human, he is a piece of iron."
Thursday, November 03, 2005
No Time To Blog Today Folks
Oh yeah well my dad can punch out a Llama news:
Today's Movie quote: "Jack, Jesus Christ would never point a gun at another human being."
"Stay out of my psychosis! Now get your ass in that van." (This one is a tough one. Warranting a prize) (Previous prize, although yet to be delivered is/was Benny Hoh-made Kahlua)
Today's Movie quote: "Jack, Jesus Christ would never point a gun at another human being."
"Stay out of my psychosis! Now get your ass in that van." (This one is a tough one. Warranting a prize) (Previous prize, although yet to be delivered is/was Benny Hoh-made Kahlua)
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Stinky Pee
We are all aware about the stinky bathroom caused by number 2, however what about when someone drops a stinky onezy. With the number 2 you know its bad when you are sitting there enjoying all facets of the deuce, perhaps resting your elbow on your thigh so that you can rest your chin in the palm of your hand to better ponder the mysteries of the world, and your head slips from your palm causing a sudden nod downward followed by a quick jerk upright do to the foul stench burning your nostrils, eyes and lungs. But what about a stinky pee? Sometimes it smells but can you really tell how bad it is to other folk? I suppose that is one more reason why the ol flushing mechanism supplanted the outhouse. Now there is something that will never become retro. Tune in sooner rather than later for more Pooh and Wee adventures.
The 10 worst jobs in science. #3 is pretty amusing.
Today's Movie Quote: "We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured the next logical step was to have us a critter."
The 10 worst jobs in science. #3 is pretty amusing.
Today's Movie Quote: "We figured there was too much happiness here for just the two of us, so we figured the next logical step was to have us a critter."
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
I'm Not Asian
As the readership of this blog grows (26 hits a day), it has come to my attention that it has reached beyond just people I know. This has led to some interesing emails. As happy as I am to be held in higher regard for any reason, let it be known that Benny Hoh is a play on many things but it is not my complete name. Hence, for those of you who were psyched that I am Asian, I hate to disapoint. I am a mut just like most other Americans.
In things I try not to put in my mouth news:
In stupid reasoning news: A new vaccine that protects against cervical cancer has been created but it is being protested because it allegedly encourages sex.
In Britain must stink news: A baked bean war has broken out.
Trivia Answers:
Friaday's Quote: "Do you want your sister to lose weight? Tell her to get off the couch, stop eating twinkies and maybe go out for field hockey. You know what? No one ever knows what they want to be when they grow up. You know it takes a little, little while to find that out, right, Jim? And you... yeah, you. Sick of some jerk shoving your head down the toilet? Well, you know what? Maybe... you should lift some weights, or uh, take a karate lesson and the next time he's tries to do it, you kick him in the balls."
Monday's Quote: "The film which you are about to see is an account of the tragedy which befell a group of five youths, in particular Sally Hardesty and her invalid brother, Franklin. It is all the more tragic in that they were young. But, had they lived very, very long lives..."
Today's Movie Quote: "Of course I don't have my underwear. I'm definately not wearing my underwear."
In things I try not to put in my mouth news:
In stupid reasoning news: A new vaccine that protects against cervical cancer has been created but it is being protested because it allegedly encourages sex.
In Britain must stink news: A baked bean war has broken out.
Trivia Answers:
Friaday's Quote: "Do you want your sister to lose weight? Tell her to get off the couch, stop eating twinkies and maybe go out for field hockey. You know what? No one ever knows what they want to be when they grow up. You know it takes a little, little while to find that out, right, Jim? And you... yeah, you. Sick of some jerk shoving your head down the toilet? Well, you know what? Maybe... you should lift some weights, or uh, take a karate lesson and the next time he's tries to do it, you kick him in the balls."
Monday's Quote: "The film which you are about to see is an account of the tragedy which befell a group of five youths, in particular Sally Hardesty and her invalid brother, Franklin. It is all the more tragic in that they were young. But, had they lived very, very long lives..."
Today's Movie Quote: "Of course I don't have my underwear. I'm definately not wearing my underwear."
