Benny Hoh Blog

December 11th 2001

Bow down before me....For I am your God.

Last night after wetting my pallet with a few beers with my roomate Marc, we met up with a few of his friends and went to a fine eating establishment for dinner. I believe it was Hooters. After some fine dining and some more beers near the Fleet Center we decided it was a good night for a Britney Spears concert. After wheeling and dealing with some scalpers we got $125 tickets for 35 each. We were in the free beer, office chair, shrimpcocktail, can see Britney in great detail section. It was pretty much the coolest thing that has ever happened to me, and I've had sex before. Britney closed the show wearing next to nothing while taking a shower and wearing a cowboy hat. To be honest.. I'm still a little aroused. To top off the evening we went to the Harp after the show and I talked to a girl.

Yup Life doesn't get any better than that.

The luckiest guy you know. Benny Hoh

Today's Movie Quote: "She said that sote:She said that I was a mistake, and that he made her have me, and that she never wanted me."

Sorry for the lack of post on Friday. Butt it was donut Friday and lets just say between working and Krispy Kream, I went down in a glaze of glory.

In list news: Here are the top 10 things Peter Griffen would like to say to America.

And without further adieu

Trivia answers:
Wednesday's Quote: "That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's, a fountain of conversation there, buddy. That's a geyser."

Thursday's Quote: "My name is Federico Aranda, and I will return."

Today's Quote: "The man tells his stories so many times that he becomes the stories. They live on after him. And in that way, he becomes immortal."

Hungary of course? The gay population in particular I would assume might have a problem after Turkey's dubbing of Broken Back Mountain. Although inappropriate... this is kinda funny.

In ugliest things created by humans news: My daily movements did not make the list. Perhaps I need to re-submit.

Well after bringing up the above two shit storms it is important to note that Colorado was recently poohed on as well.

Today's Move Quote: "My name is Federico Aranda, and I will return."

Proof once again that PR people are sometimes useful, a colleague of mine and publisher of "Lack of Motivation" provided me with this interesting story regarding alternative uses for dog poop. No longer will its primary purpose be for lighting paper bags full of it on your neighbors doorstep. It will be used as energy. The initiative is taking place in San Francisco so I will keep you all informed about its progress. My immediate concern is a possible smell problem. However, the by-product of a smell problem might finally lead to the emancipation of farts.

In other news: National Pancake day is on February 28th. controversy is of course close by.

Still now word on "The Dog Who Stopped the War"

Today's Move Quote: "That's the first thing you've said in the last four hours. That's, a fountain of conversation there, buddy. That's a geyser."

Its Benny Hoh Blog Prize Time. YAAAAAAY! So here is the deal. The first indivdual who can supply me with the first several lines from "The Dog Who Stopped the War" (French or English will do) will recieve one mamajama of a prize.


Monday: "They say that a man who represents himself in court has a fool for a client. And with God as my witness, I am that fool!"

Tuesday: "I was the last one left after the nuclear holocaust, eh. The whole world had been destroyed, like U.S. blew up Russia and Russia blew up U.S. Fortunately, I had been offworld at the time. There wasn't much to do. All the bowling alleys had been wrecked. So's I spent most of my time looking for beer."

Wednesday: "Come on. Do I look like the mother of the future? I mean, am I tough, organized? I CAN'T EVEN BALANCE MY CHECKBOOK."

Thursday: Tell me something, Billy. How come a cute little guy like this can turn into a thousand ugly monsters?"

Today's Quote:

I'm not really one to critisize any political ethos but how could these damn pinko commi bastards put cheerleaders in the gulags. That just aint right.

In Olympics news: Sooooo there have been studies in the past about athletic performance being dictated about when/where you are master of your domain. Some feel that one performs better after "releasing" some pent up whathaveyous. Others feel that if you obstain you will perform better. Well with the plethera of porn Olympians are picking up this winter it will be interesting to see how many records fall.

Today's Move Quote: "Tell me something, Billy. How come a cute little guy like this can turn into a thousand ugly monsters?"

Soooo... We may have the best reason yet why San Francisco is one cool ass city. Random pillow fights.

In other news, I have not found any evidence of such but I have been informed that baby kuala's feed from thier mom's butts. Not only are kualas really cute but apparently they are real brown nosers.

In super hero news: Batman will be taking on Osama Bin Laden

Today's Movie Quote: "Come on. Do I look like the mother of the future? I mean, am I tough, organized? I CAN'T EVEN BALANCE MY CHECKBOOK."

So here's the theory... if you believe hard enough, the things that you see win commercials will actually come true if you purchase a product they will. That being said I have purchased MicroClean Irish Spring soap fully expecting some hottie to join me in the shower.

In question of the day news.... Do you think Canadians have less sex because it takes so long to take off all those layers of cloths? hmmm

In Beer News: Wouldn't it be cool if it rained beer?

Today's Movie Quote: "I was the last one left after the nuclear holocaust, eh. The whole world had been destroyed, like U.S. blew up Russia and Russia blew up U.S. Fortunately, I had been offworld at the time. There wasn't much to do. All the bowling alleys had been wrecked. So's I spent most of my time looking for beer."

Come one come all to check out my updated blogroll which consists of blogs that are fun to read, discuss more or less what I pretend to do for a living, or just happen to sing about disappearing cows. It may not be the biggest blogroll but its the quality. Right?

Anywho check them out and feed my fellow blogger's blego's

Don't worry... Tomorrow I shall return with Kuala poop and microbead cleaning entertainment.

Today's Quote: "They say that a man who represents himself in court has a fool for a client. And with God as my witness, I am that fool!"

That's right folks, if you haven't noticed my work life has been impeding on my Blog life. I have had little time to discuss poop and/or how a church group is offering a grand for proof that the earth revolves around the sun.

That being said, over 100 people a day visit this blog and for less than a cup of coffee you could support me and this blog. Just offer to send me a buck a day and I will deliver even more useless entertainment. Perhaps even a weekly BennyHohcast (Date TBD) Think about it. Wouldn't it be quite the experiment. People pay for legit papers all the time. Why not my blog?

Trivia Answers:
Monday's Quote: "I've just decided to switch our Friday schedule to Monday, which means that the test we take each Friday on what we learned during the week will now take place on Monday before we've learned it. But since today is Tuesday, it doesn't matter in the slightest."

Tuesday's Quote: "Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale... if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world... somebody lied."

Wednesday's Quote: "If you ever get hungry, our garden back home is full of snails. We tried everything to get rid of them. We never thought of a Frenchman!"

Today's Movie Quote: "Actually I don't remember being born, It must have happened during one of my black outs."

The Vice President of Pumpkins would be Al Gourd... He he he. Seriously though, I think Al Gourd as fictional as he may be might have a more lasting affect then Al Gore. Sure Gore claims to have invented the internet. A bunch of hollamajarky one might say, but then I thought about how President Bush insists on referring to the internet as the interweb, possibly adding validity to Gore's claim. So to de-politicized this whole matter I think props should go out to a couple of engineers who 40 years ago stumbled across the begining of the fiberoptics revolution. We all owe our porn addition gratitude to these folks.

In choke the chicken news: Boo Boo the chick was saved by mouth to beak resusitation.

Today's Movie Quote: "If you ever get hungry, our garden back home is full of snails. We tried everything to get rid of them. We never thought of a Frenchman!"

Returning to a previous topic regarding one having Batman linen and the chances of him getting some being affected by it. Well I have recently aquired some more data to counter the "You are obviously imature or suffering from a peter pan complex" arguement. My evidence lies with 2 doctors who happen to be married and have their own spiderman sheets. Not only do they use them but when the issue of superhero sheets not being availbe in queen sized arose they merely clipped the sheets on to thier queen size bed. (I have a real picture of this bed but it isn't posting well. Sorry folks)

In really cool news: Scarlett Johanson and Keira Knightley are exchanging ballgowns for birthday suits.

Today's Movie Quote: "Who am I? You sure you want to know? The story of my life is not for the faint of heart. If somebody said it was a happy little tale... if somebody told you I was just your average ordinary guy, not a care in the world... somebody lied."

I know a man who provides this blog with much of its content. Often challenging me to find ways to incorporate such items as Poo and Pee dolls. Little does he know that the real challenge is restraining myself from purchasing such delights. In addition, this guy privides my office with Krispy Kream donuts on Friday earning himself the Benny Hoh Seal of Approval:



Today's Movie Quote: I've just decided to switch our Friday schedule to Monday, which means that the test we take each Friday on what we learned during the week will now take place on Monday before we've learned it. But since today is Tuesday, it doesn't matter in the slightest.

So the once was a guy from Nantucket...Or Sitiawan as it may be where a man was cought trying to smuggle cockel spat from a fishermen’s jetty in Manjung. Huh huh spat.

Trivia Answers:
Tuesday's Quote: "In his will he referred to me as That Bitch Who Killed Me."

Wednesday's Quote: "I'm Will Munny and I've killed most everything that walks or crawls; and now I'm here to kill you Little Bill for what you done to Ned."

Thursday's Quote: "Badges? We don't need no stinking badges."

OHHHHH The outrage. Soooo the lesson learned from yesterday is: Never refer to women as crazy no matter how innocent of a comment it may have been. Never refer to women as crazy no matter how innocent of a comment it may have been. Never refer to women as crazy no matter how innocent of a comment it may have been. Never refer to women as crazy no matter how innocent of a comment it may have been. Never refer to women as crazy no matter how innocent of a comment it may have been.

That lesson may seem obvious but I am a guy. Enough said.

In the food news: I had a moment of vegieism when I read this story about sliced ham but quickly returned to normal upon hearing about the best spam innovation.

Today's Quote: Badges? We don't need no stinking badges.

Many man accuse women of being a bit crazy because they do this or that. But at the end of the day they are more often describing symptoms of crazy rather than the cause. There is of course the theory of hormones but that's to sciency for me to care about. My theory is that somewhere along the female evolutionary line, women began wearing noisy shoes. If all I heard everytime I walked was clop clop clop clop clop clop, I think i might go a little zipady do da too.

In the news: We can only hope that this movie is title "Lola".... And in Star Wars gone too far news: Only click this if you are brave.

Today's Movie Quote: "I'm Will Munny and I've killed most everything that walks or crawls; and now I'm here to kill you Little Bill for what you done to Ned."